about faer previous post with cw mental health, negativeokay, so,,, what exactly happened
essentially, fae has an extreme social anxiety pretty much
fae was over at local hackerspace, and, uh, oh, a problem appeared, the password to guest wifi network was changed, and, uhm, cannot exactly do much without wifi,,,
cannot exactly use a phone as a hotspot either, because fae didn't charge it fully
and instead of like, asking someone for it (look, it's difficult), fae,,, pretty much froze, started feeling extremely negatively
anyways, feeling much better now, fae now has a password for wifi for future visits, and,,, wow,,, the amount of reactions fae got to that post is a bit overwhelming, but,,, that's okay, thank you so much, meow~
it's,,, great to feel that people really care about faer
anxiety, parental abuseabout faer anxiety, fae is pretty comfortable with talking about faerself on fedi
anywhere else however, ugh,,, it's so bad
fae keeps being afraid of being ridiculed, when, really, the only people who are going to do that are faer parents, and fae no longer lives with them,,, ugh,,,
it's so hard to unlearn that however,,,
also thinking about it, it's weird fae feels safe on fedi, because, like, faer fedi posts are public, in fact, fae intentionally chooses not to make faer posts follower-only
after everything that happened to faer on fedi, you would think that fae feel anxious on fedi too, but,,, not really?
anxiety, parental abuse, mental health, negativecase in point, fae wrote a reply to i.use.akkoma.btw.sylveon.social/notes/ai6xcccakwsa5zzj due to feeling like, really, no reactions for quite some time, and it was done as essentially a way to get people to react to that post
,,, like, yeah, it's an very early morning (fae didn't sleep too well), and most of faer followers are in europe, and there are some followers that don't interact with faer mh posts, but, still, was hoping to at least see Velvet (which eventually did interact, as fae expected her to)
yeah, this,,, very much sucks, having to get interactions on anything fae writes, and constantly analyzing, who is going to interact with faer posts and what's not, how to optimize for likability
even if fae no longer lives with faer parents, hypervigilance is still there
in fact,,, fae wonders,,, how much of faer sylveon identity is in order to be liked,,, like,,, thinking that fae is sylveon not because fae wanted to be, but rather because fae felt like that would make other people like faer more
re: whatever the thread's cws are, beta moshidon doesnt copy x.x@sugar whole thread is a mood, my fedi identity is also something i basically use to fill in neglect i have mrrrp
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