i just remembered something while watching video about derealization and trans stuff (youtu.be/jA-FmFO3IzM)
when i was a kid, i also made masculized characters
super blue characters super strong men stuff like that
when i was a kid, i had a "crush" on this cute girl, but it wasnt really a "i wanna marry her" but like admiration, she always was good in school, always had good friends always treated well, opposite of me, i started talking to her and like i like her, i want to be like her,
when i got splatoon 2, that's the first time i chose a girl character and a girly name, felt happy :3
illy [Shrimple-mode] 
@illyBytes@shrimp.imsofucking.gay